Under the Knife

I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I'm not particularly found of hospitals. I'm thankful for them but really have no desire to utilize their services! I also think it is the general consensus that any type of surgery is scary - the unknown, the risks. But when it is your KIDS going under the knife, then the emotions rise to a new level.

Was I emotionally ready for such a day? Did I really understand the complexity of this surgery and the recovery process...times two?

Did I have my spiritual armor on and was I in submission to the Lord's will as He hovered over my children when I was forbidden to enter?

I really thought I would completely fall apart last Tuesday when both my kids were scheduled for cochlear implant surgery. I was anxiously dreading the moment they unlocked the bed and pushed my child into an area that was restricted to my presence. And then something pleasantly welcoming happened. Without shedding a tear, my husband and I embraced and turned away to divert our attention to the next child getting prepped for an IV. It was actually rather strange. No concern. No worry. Not even a second look. It was as if we left them in perfectly capable hands. And we did. Successful doctors and their Heavenly Father. At one point when I crashed on the couch while one was in surgery and the other was in recovery, I had a dream that Jesus was standing over my kids - just smiling at them.

The surgery? 100% successful with zero complications. The doctor said it couldn't have went better or smoother. Statements you always want to hear concerning any procedure involving a knife and anesthesia! The kids had a few rough days that followed, but I think the recovery process went very well with great progress each day.

We thank you for your devoted prayers - we felt them. They are real. The peace we experienced was amazing and I know it was only because of the prayer warriors going to battle for us. Here are some pictures to bring some reality to the process and your prayers! (I left the "detailed" pictures out!)

They wanted to be very clear which ear was being implanted!Both kids did great with their first IV!So thankful for Pastor Bob and our awesome friends who joined us in prayer!One last kiss from daddy....You can see the implant and the curly wire that wraps into the cochleaLooking and feeling great! This is the next day (can you believe it?)They are moments away from getting the head bandages cut off.

Two more weeks until activation. We are blessed and extremely exciting!!

Thank you Jesus!!

I Hate The Day Before

I never really thought this day would embark on my household.

We were totally against this happening 13 years ago but always said that when the time came and the children could make the decision on their own, then we would re-evaluate.

All too soon, the time came. The re-evaluation happened. The children are older, so the research began all over again. A million questions with hopes of having a million answers. Someone put us at ease...please.

We wrestled. We questioned God. We fought the tears. We prayed for healing. Then we let the flood gates open. They don't stop for days. Is this the right choice? Their healing never came.

Their healing never came.

We just wanted our kids to hear - to know what an "f, s or z" sounds like. To hear the birds awaken them with their incredible songs. To hear a dangerous car coming when they are on their bike. To hold a normal conversation with a friend.

If you remember from some of my previous posts, my son, Adam, has a digresive hearing loss. This past March, it plummeted again to the point that he was receiving very little, if any, benefit from his hearing aids. Standing at the fork in the road, we asked Adam what he wanted to do. If he still wanted to hear, then the only viable option was a Cochlear Implant.

State-of-the-art equipment which would give my kids back 80% of their hearing. Maybe this was the way the "healing" was going to come. After all, His ways are not our ways and I have to trust Him completely without ever looking back.

I only need a mustard seed....

I had to take three naps today. Woke up in a grumpy mood with my gut and head hurting. I'm sure most of it was emotionally driven. Not surprisingly, I had to apologize to the kids for my attitude. I just don't want tomorrow to come. I do but I don't. I would rather a Touch from the Masters Hand.

It wasn't until 4:00 pm that I was able to function without pain and a smile on my face. Forgive me, Lord, I know I need to trust You more. Please understand that I'll need an extra dose of that Grace You hand out when they wheel my child away from me tomorrow. The waiting room is such a hard place to be - physically and spiritually.

For now, I rest in His Sovereignty that He is in control and Lord of our lives. I anxiously await the activation session in three weeks to "see" what my kids will hear.As you know, ice cream always makes everything better, so we met Kyle at Braums tonight with our conversation wheel to share some laughter - and a few tears. Since they can't have anything to eat past midnight tonight we wanted the last thing in their mouths to be sweet - just like the mercy and grace of our Lord.

Thank you all for holding our children up in prayer all these years. I covet your prayers tomorrow at 7:30 am as we turn our babies over to a very capable doctor and the Master Healer.

Making Every Day Count

I know what we should be doing and I know how to do it. Finding the energy and time is another story...

Family Time

I can say that I think this task was much easier to accomplish when the kids were younger. We colored together, made crafts, played hide-n-seek, enjoyed board games, went on bike rides, ate together, etc. Now that they are older, I am shocked as to how difficult this feat is.

My 18 year old who is in college full time with a part time job is only home two nights a week for dinner . My daughter now has a part time job and cheer practice once a week. My youngest has soccer twice a week and of course, church two nights a week. Because of their age differences, our board games are limited as well as our movies. Adam's leg muscle issues makes the family bike riding extremely difficult. And of course, they have out grown coloring together and making crafts!

We have been forced to be very creative with our family time and activities. Since the quality time together seems to be scarce, we have to really make each day count ... to seize the moment!

That's when the wheel made it into our lives.Just a simple, little cardboard wheel created by Focus on the Family to aid families with conversation starters. We absolutely love it! We set aside at least one day a week to have a real, sit-down, family meal and then the wheel makes its appearance. It really blessed my heart when my 18 year old said that Tuesday was his favorite day - he looked forward to the home cooked meal and the intriguing conversations that would follow.

Here are a few of the questions or starters that we have enjoyed so far:

What is your favorite thing about being a child/parent/husband/wife?

If you could ask God one question, what would it be?

What three words describe your day today?

If you had one super power, what would it be?

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?

What are your favorite qualities about your mom, dad, sister or brother?

When do you feel brave?

What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done to you?

Tell about a time when you were scared and what did you do?

Some of these questions were answered within 10-15 minutes. I can remember one night when we realized it was almost 8 pm - we had donned the family table for two hours!!

Family time around the dinner table is certainly not over rated. If you have children, it just must be a priority. The old adage is so true - it's the quality not quantity of time that matters. I can honestly say that I have gotten to know my children better after listening to their answers - sometimes through tears and sometimes through laughter.

The older they get, the shorter the time with them seems to be. I just can't let it slip through my fingers...there's still so much more to teach them but even more importantly than that - there's still so much more listening for us parents to do. Kids really do have some good insight ... if we will just listen.

Camp Cavett...Where the Fun Begins!

I am shocked that it has been TWO months since my last blog and oh, how I have missed writing! I can't even begin to explain what my life has been like since June, so I won't even try! Instead, I'm going to try and get back on track and start with some long overdue pictures from Victoria's first camp and her Friends Crowning ceremony. She had an incredible time at camp with no issues and wasn't even ready to come home after 5 days! She made several new friends and grew up about 2 years in just the short 5 days!Climbing the inflatable "mountain" in the middle of the lake!

Relaxing at beautiful Lake Texoma!

You had to dress up as a fruit or vegetable for one of the nights - Victoria and her friend Anna are two peas in a pod!

This is right before the ceremony - since there wasn't a purple dress to be found in ANY store, we found this beautiful, light lavender formal at a consignment sale for ONE DOLLAR!!

And here is our little princess - an Honor Friends. We are so very proud of her!

Thanks for letting me share and boast! Time for my workout now and I promise to be back before December :)

She's Not So Little Anymore

She still sits on my lap...every morning she crawls out of bed

She still wants me to put her to bed and have Chocolate Cake time (one-on-one with mommy only!)

She still asks me to sit and color with her

We make crafts together and she loves for me to read to her

I am actually quite surprised by the list I just typed! You would think that I was talking about my 7 or 8 year old daughter. But alas, my "little" girl is only a few months shy of tuning 15!So what monumental event took place today that finally gave me the need and time to sit and blog about it?

I knew you would ask!

At 7:30 this morning, I dropped my precious daughter off to her first camp - ever! And yes...I teared up :(

I am excited for her as I know this will be an incredible opportunity. She is going with her best friend, who is also profoundly deaf, to Camp Cavett. Their motto is "The illness or disability does not define the child." This camp is completely sponsored by the OU Medical Center at no charge to the campers and is only for those children who have an illness or disability. Here is their website if you would like to learn more:

http://www.cavettkidsfoundation.org/node/11

Five days...three hours away....no one to share my clothes with...I'll probably be okay till around Friday morning and then I'm pretty sure I'll have a small mental breakdown!

She's in the Lord's hands and although I trust Him explicitly with her life, I still would like to know how in the world she managed to get to 14 years old so quickly :)

It's Almost JULY Already??

This has been an unbelievable summer - It's almost JULY?? Where in the world has it gone??

Well, let's see....ballet classes, tap practices, Farmer's Market booths, helping my daughter start her new business, audiologist appointments, Ranch Camp, home schooling meetings, new co-op meetings, essential oils meetings, garage sales, spring cleaning, shopping for a new RV, purging books and school curriculum, still schooling with math and reading, massively couponing to help lower-income families, helping my daughter babysit, blah, blah, blah!!

Sometimes I feel like a dog chasing my tail! I want to blog - everyday - yet I haven't for over two weeks! I told my husband just yesterday that so far this summer has been more hectic and challenging than a normal school year :(

So, here it is....the shortest blog I'll probably ever write.

That's all I wanted to say. It was really nothing earth shattering - that takes me hours to write! I just wanted to know if I remembered my password and could actually log on correctly and write something.

I did.

And now it's church time :)

Love you all!!

The Morning After

"I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little." Philippians 4:11-12

After a long hug from my soul-mate we just softly smile at each other. No words are exchanged. They simply are not needed. We enjoyed the comforts of a warm spaghetti dinner and actually shared some laughs over America's Got Talent!

While the kids ran off to shower and wind down for the evening, I brought him into the office and read him my blog. It is something special that I do for my husband. When he doesn't have his reading glasses, he can barely read anything. However, even when he does have them, he still asks me to read - he says he enjoys my voice :)

Sadly, this is one time that I just wanted him to read the words on the screen while I walked away. Instead, he pulls up a chair and gives me the floor. Of course, I don't even make it through the first paragraph. I've had several people tell me in the past that my blogs make them cry. I apologize but tell them that's because I cry when I write them!

As hard as it is, there is incredible comfort in duet-crying; especially when it is your husband.

The morning after is always full of a variety of emotions. The morning after you get married is just unexplainable - you are ecstatic with glee! The morning after you return home from a long vacation is tiring but rewarding; there truly is no place like home. The morning after you bury your second brother leaving you as an only child is a dreadful, atrocious, empty feeling.

Today, I have mixed feelings as well. Even though I screamed and cried in the shower, I have a smile on my face and hope in my steps. My son is refreshed and ready to deal with his basket of lemons. As soon as the kids wake up, they come find me and sit on my lap while we hug and rock for a minute or so. It's tradition and apparently they still enjoy it since they come to me! I will say that it's a little awkward trying to hold, hug and rock my daughter who is bigger and taller than me in every aspect! Sometimes she just slides off and falls to the ground laughing!

Adam found me on the computer this morning and sat down for his morning cuddle time. After only a few seconds, he lifted his head from my shoulder and asked, "Are you okay, momma?" He has such a precious, intuitive spirit.

And the answer?

Yes.

I am okay. Although I am not looking forward to the events that lie ahead of us, I am exciting to see what good things the Lord will bring about and what surprising doors He will open!

One of our favorite scripture verses for our household is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

There you have it. It's already settled. HE is in control - not me. He actually loves my children more than I do! Do I think I can do a better job than He? Do I think I know better? Can I make the wisest decisions for my children outside of God's council? No, no and no!

They are yours, Lord, and I trust you explicitly with their lives.

As I am learning from Ann Voskamp...thanksgiving is the evidence of our acceptance of whatever He gives.