Eureka!

Surprises at every corner does not even begin to describe our day today.

With a spring in our step, we all marched out the door this morning in great anticipation of what awaited us in the "activation room!"

All of the professionals tried desperately to warn us that they will not hear right away. "It's a slow process." "Their brain will not be able to handle all the sounds right away." "90% of implant patients hate them for the first two weeks."

I explained this to the kids numerous times and then tried to set my own expectation bar very low.

I was unsuccessful in doing this.

I did not expect my daughter to start crying when she heard the first beeping sounds. They were not glassy eyes full of joyfulness but salt water from fear and nervous anticipation. There was no amazing video to show of their first experience hearing our voices. They couldn't hear our voices. It was a little disturbing to hear them both say, "I don't hear anything, but I feel it." They could not make out a single word. Adam's expression was very bewildering - " The sounds are stinging my brain."

The audiologist explained that this was all normal and that their brain actually has to be re-trained. There is mapping that happens on the computer with the implants and mapping that occurs in their brain while they are listening. They really did "hear" but their brain had no idea that these noises were sounds that form words. I know - it sounds crazy! Our heads were spinning as we were trying to swallow these alienated explanations.

Then the speech therapist proved her point. She turned off the vibration mode on her cell phone and set it on the table. When the phone rang, Victoria said she felt it. She was wrong - there was nothing to feel! She heard it but didn't really know she was hearing it! Her brain didn't know it was a phone ringing since she's never heard a phone ring before!

This is where extensive speech therapy and preschool-like games at home come into play. We literally have to treat them like a toddler naming every sound we hear. We've been cautioned against signing so that they can begin to depend on the implants ability to let them hear. Baby listeners they are called! As a friend of mine told me today, "Sometimes you have to work before the blessings come."

So here we are...

Trusting yet nervous

Excited but skeptical

Confused though at peace

Frustrated yet joyful

Believing but doubtful

Can you really feel all of these emotions at the same time with the same event? All I can say is that we did.

So, we have a choice. My husband and I have decided to accept and trust God and then proclaim His incredible blessings. We will NOT confess any negative thoughts or let them take a foothold in our hearts.

So, that is what I put on Facebook - they DO work and I AM thankful for this incredible technology. I must believe that this truly is a tediously slow process and that with time it will get better.

In case you're wondering, this is why I blog. It is my journal. It is how I expressive myself. I truly write just for me. If I happen to have readers, then that is just an extra bonus! I usually open up my heart and let the rawness show. I don't pull any punches and I don't pretend to have it all together. I try not to portray that every trial in my life is a welcoming avenue for character building! However, I do pray that it is :)

I also blog so that I can see where the Lord has brought my family and I. As I did recently, I like to reread some old blogs and chuckle at where I was not so long ago. I love to reminense about a certain event that seemed so catastrophic at the moment yet a minor anthill now!

I am positive that I will look back on this blog 6-12 months from now and not only stand in completely awe of what the Lord has done for my children but also see that what was so perplexing and heart breaking at that time, can bring a joyful smile to my face now.