I know, I know...where in the world have I been??? I've had many people ask me this the last month, so I wanted to reassure you all that I have not passed on!
So, to answer your questions...just too many things to mention! Swimming, dance camp, swimming, summer to-do lists, vacation to San Antonio, swimming...get the point?
However, the biggest reason for my lack of presence is because of the pruning process that the Lord has been doing in me. I'm so thankful that He cares so much about me to recognize when I need to change although the gruesome pain that comes with letting Him take control is so hard to bear at times.
Do you ever feel this way?
Sometimes it's just so discouraging to see all my mistakes and sinful ways. Each time I loose my patience with my children, when I don't show the proper respect and love to my husband, or when hurtful words come flying uncontrollably out of my mouth...
Then I can't hold back the tears. I don't want to live with regret, so the apologies start flowing and I regain my composure and try again the next day to be more like Jesus. I know I've grown in the Lord and in character. You wouldn't believe how I was 15 years ago!! Yet, there's always something to work on. As it should be, I suppose.
I have much to blog about in the next few weeks since I can't wait to share with you what the Lord has shown me and where He has taken me. As for right now...I'm just really tired. Full of peace and blessed, but exhausted.
A friend of mine bought me a wonderful devotion for my birthday called Jesus Calling. Each day it speaks straight into my heart. The author wrote it in first person as though the Lord were talking directly to you. I'll end by sharing an excerpt:
"Remember that you live in a fallen world: an abnormal world tainted by sin. Much frustration and failure result from your seeking perfection in this life. There is nothing perfect in this world except Me. That is why closeness to Me satisfies deep yearnings and fills you with Joy...Make Me the deepest desire of your heart. Let Me fulfill your yearning for perfection."
Yes, Lord...I will try yet once again...thank you, Father, for Your Mercy.
I have missed your writing, always so beautiful and uplifting. I don't want to bring you down, but, even at my age God continually works on me, I still learn things about me that needs to be more God-like. I think that is what God expects, so that He can mold us.
ReplyDeleteI love you honey, I'm so thankful that you are willing to listen to that still small voice.
Mom
Thanks mom - I know you're right but when it happens, it just so humbling and painful. It's what I want, but my human nature resists the Master's pruning. I know this journey is not over, which I am very thankful for. It's so overwhelming to think about His mercy and patience with us!
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