Thank You for The Change, Lord!

I have finally escaped from my hole. I truly cannot believe that I was there that long and how thick my walls were that I so earnestly built.

I know that I did what was best for my family and me at the time but enough is enough.

I need people back in my life.

My life was completely different when I first started home schooling 11 years ago. With a first grader and two babies demanding my attention and a husband who was constantly traveling, attending a mom's night out, home school meeting or even a social gathering was completely out of the question. To add to my situation, I was blessed with two deaf children. I quickly discovered that I was the only home school mom in this situation, so obviously no one understood my life or my daily struggles, right? On a small and manageable scale, resentment and bitterness slowly crept in. In addition to my ungodly mindset, the close friends that I had began to move away.

The result? 100% seclusion. After all...what could they offer me? Without any prayerful consideration, I have said no to teaching Sunday School, being the coordinator of our girls group at church, joining the worship team, being the home school leader, leading the greeters at church, taking over Prayer for Cops Ministry, participating in any home school field trip, etc., etc. My family was top priority and they needed me. It has taken me years, but I have learned that withdrawing from everything was not the right way to handle my life.

Fast forward from 1999 to 2010. "You've come a long way, baby!" doesn't even come close to explaining what has happened to me the last few months. I've been deeply humbled and have successfully climbed out of my hole. It all started with a Power Up Worship service at our church. I was the first one in line to receive a special touch from the Lord, yet He did more than just touch me.

The two ladies in charge began to explain my life to me - in great detail. Funny thing is, I had never shared even a sentence with them about my struggles from the past 10 years. It was truly a Divine appointment from the Lord. I wept as the Lord said, "Enough is enough. You think you are trapped in a room with no door and are completely alone. Not only is there a door - I have opened it for you. It is time to walk through. You have too much to offer and I have blessed you..." I stayed about an hour later than anyone else receiving more prayer and expelling more tears. I was long overdue for a meeting with God.

He cared enough about me to not only show up to this worship service but to speak to me specifically. W O W!!

I had an old friend visit our church recently. She pulled me aside and asked what in the world happened to me! A little flabbergasted, I questioned her as to her meaning. She said, "You're different. You look peaceful and free. I've never seen you worship like that before. Obviously the Lord has done something in your life - please tell me what it is!"

Tis true!! I HAVE been set free! I found flexibility five years ago. Things aren't so black and white. I'm learning more each day to let God control my activities and to do my daily routines with love. I'm investing more into the character of my children. I am back on the worship team after a six year sabbatical. I have joined the board with my Home Educators Group AND I attend just about every meeting there is! Back to school picnic, Newcomers Tea, Moms Night Out and every training and encouraging seminar possible!

Why? Because I need it and so do my children. They need a plethora of friends and I need to be encouraged daily by those who continue to do the difficult task God has called them to do - parenting and educating.

I'm so excited! I love failing forward and can't wait to see what else God has in store for me and my family.

My challenge to you...be more flexible than I was. Adopt a godly mandate and rely on it daily. Allow the Lord to humble you and embrace the friends He has placed in your life. Weather you home school or not, listening to the Lord's prompting is something that you will never regret. God made you on purpose for a purpose and to sit in a hole is not it!

Thank God almighty I'm free at last :)