My Memorable Mother's Day!

Now I am sure - absolutely positive, that you can NOT beat my Mother's Day. It was special beyond words. In fact, I don't even think pictures can do it justice. It was not the typical 'go out to eat, receive flowers or jewelry and take an afternoon nap' Mother's Day. You see, I spent my Mother's Day lying in bed until 3 pm while on drugs. Why? I knew you would ask that!

Because I decided that 43 years was an exceedingly long time to go without ever having a broken bone or any stitches. So, I made up for lost time.

Allow me to paint the scenery for you...My husband finally bought a chainsaw to trim the massively overgrown trees in our front yard. He was quite concerned about safety and kept telling me to watch out and be alert as I was picking up all the fallen branches. Late Saturday afternoon, we had the whole family out front helping us haul all the branches to the back yard while they await big junk day. I decided to take the curbside plastic trashcan and pick up all the small twigs and loose leaves in the yard. This is when it happened. I know you're going to find it crazy, but I am telling the WHOLE truth and nothing BUT the truth. (I do have one regret, though...I wish we were somehow able to video tape this whole incident so that you would fully grasp the gravity of the truthness here!)

Now...hang onto your belt buckle and read slowly so you can understand how this happened. I tilted the trashcan to get it on its two wheels(see the picture? I wanted to make sure you COMPLETELY understood! I know it's ludicrous, but that's what bloggers do - we take pictures. Of everything.) Well, since I am very short, I have to tilt it quite a bit to get it on its wheels so I can push it. (I'm slightly weak, too) So, here is this trashcan, tilted, on two wheels, with the lid swinging back and forth as I push it (getting the picture?) Unfortunately, since it is so low to the ground, the lid actually touches the ground. So here I am, minding my own business, trying to be an awesome helpmate when the unthinkable happens.

This vicious trashcan ATTACKS me.

Behind my husbands back -- without any forewarning, it spews the most hatred action it can conjure up on me...and my forehead.

It sticks it lid out right in front of my feet so that I step on it and then refuses to move forward (who cares that I'm stepping on it and it has no where to go. It was being stubborn and indignant) So, what else am I to do except fall forward, face first, and meet the edge of this devilish opening, and then plummet to the ground with only my legs sticking out of it's mouth. (sorry, no picture for this one)

My husband is still on the 10-foot ladder cautioning me to be careful before someone gets hurt! All I'm thinking is, 'get out of the trashcan, you moron - you look ridiculous!' I could go into great detail about my second and third thoughts and the exciting 90 mph car trip to the emergency room, but it would make this entry WAYYYY too long! Let's just say that I thought it was raining as I attempted to crawl out of the trashcan. It wasn't rain...it was blood pouring from my foreheadThree hours later and I am finally decorated with my first ever, self-inflicted battle scar. As you can see by the awesome picture here, the bruising has already begun!

As my loving husband has put it so gently: "She had a fight with the trashcan...and lost!"

Now I just want to put out a word to the wise. From what I've been told, these evil trashcans are beginning to form a gang and approach people unknowingly and their venom is like nothing on this earth. Please, PLEASE, watch your back AND your forehead!

I don't want to leave you on an ugly, horrible thought, so fix your eyes on this pleasing picture of my beautiful Mother's Day bouquet that I finally awoke to Sunday night! I was blessed with three beautiful cards from my children and a special hand-crafted key chain and bracelet from my daughter!

Oh what joy...it's all about making memories!