Update on My Kids - Part 3

Sitting here with a smile on my face as I listen to a very intense but giggle-filled speech therapy session. This session is after hours and on a much personal level with pillows and blankets surrounding the participants. I happen to dearly love both parties involved. One is my precious daughter and the other is my dedicated husband.

Although I have no regrets - I mean completely, 100%, ZERO regrets, I certainly had no idea we would be treating my 15 year old daughter like a toddler and struggle as much as we have the past few months. I also had no clue that my son would soar past the expected goals only to be released from speech therapy three weeks after the first implant since he was already talking and hearing on the phone! A household full of mixed emotions is putting it quite mildly.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I signed to Adam. His second implant surgery went even better than the first and activation was all it was meant to be. This child, so full of life, smiles even more now than he ever has (he has been known as the 'smiling boy' by many people!) He's confident, secure and engaging in conversations that he dared not even think about 5 months ago. After only 3 months of guitar lessons, he is being moved to the intermediate classes starting in January! I have also noticed an improvement in his reading skills as well as his sense of humor :)

Here is where the mixed emotions break into the scene.

Victoria is a different story. She struggled with the first surgery, implants and activation, while the second surgery was even worse. She had an adverse reaction to the anesthesia and threw up 8 times before we even got her home. Her equilibrium was massively affected, so she had trouble walking by herself and the dizziness lasted almost a week. Poor girl even got a 24 hour stomach bug in the middle of her recovery time! She finally turned the corner and made it to activation day. I will say that I was a little shocked to learn that we were starting all over again - just like the first implant. I fully expected her to be able to hear even better with two implants (and eventually she will). Instead, she stated that she 'feels' the sounds and really only hears beeps. Sheepishly, I sat and listened as our audiologist explained that you have two hemispheres to your brain so each side works independently when referring to auditory paths. I should have known that!

We have now been back twice for remapping (fine-tuning) and I can finally say that things are looking up (which is why I haven't blogged until now). She is still very timid around a group of girls since she can't understand everything they are saying, but I do believe that one day she will be able to have a complete conversation with a friend and never have to ask for repeated sentences.

The biggest hurdle is remaining consistent. Determination will pay off but the process is shattering to your patience bucket. Last
week I spent 7 minutes working with her on one word. It was tedious and patient-taxing. I know now that her brain can hear these sounds but they have no idea what they are since she's never heard them before. We have to re-train her brain to know what a "g" sounds like, etc. With that knowledge, I can't make excuses anymore, like in the past. I had to teach her what a soft c and m sound like and I wasn't giving up. We both finally broke into a giggle and I accepted her pronunciation of the word. 7 minutes was long enough.

We are still under directions to repeat every word or sentence three times before we resort to signing. In my determination to NOT sign, it took us 11 minutes the other day to go through dictation. It was two scriptures verses that Adam did in 3 minutes, but I kept having to repeat myself numerous times for Victoria. It was mentally draining but I was very proud of her since she never got upset or lost focus. I couldn't say that a month ago.

After explaining to Victoria that her success of these implants solely rests on her determination and effort, I have begun to see some changes. She is now asking what certain sounds are and is increasing the volume each day on her own. Just yesterday she was telling me about a friend and then stopped herself to ask if she was saying the name right. I spoke the name about 6 times until she had it perfect. I chuckled internally knowing that she finally crossed the threshold - she wants to have better speech, therefore, she will!

The speech therapy I spoke about in my opening sentence is something daddy asked us to do. Throughout the day, I write down any word that she has trouble speaking. I work with her for a while and then move on. The list then lands in daddy's hands for him to critique her sometime after dinner. I love listening to them - his persistence and her girly-ness! Not only does she get the chance to work on these words twice, but she gets to hear how they sound from a male voice as well as a female voice.

It's December 7th and winter is here in full throttle - 14 degrees when I awoke this morning. The leaves crunch under our feet, the garden lies empty and the flowers no longer bring a splash of color to my front entrance.

However, there's a massive contrast when you walk through my front door. In here, it's spring! Conversations are budding, patience is anew, smiles are blooming and there's a fresh spring in the step of two children who are experiencing what we take for granted everyday.

Sound

Not only am I thankful for an on-time God, but also for children with more perseverance than most people I know!

And these little babies...no longer don our household :)

Tomato Basil Fettuccine

Just tried this new recipe which was a huge hit for the fam! It came from the Taste of Home magazine, so I just knew it would be wonderful!Tomato Basil Fettuccine

8 ozs cooked fettuccine
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon butter
1 can (14-1/2 ounces) diced tomatoes - undrained
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup evaporated milk
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil (or 1-2 tablespoons dried basil)
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese

Saute onion and red pepper flakes in butter till onion is tender. Add tomatoes and salt; cook and stir over medium-high heat until most of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from the heat; let stand one minute. gradually whisk in milk. Drain cooked fettuccine and place in a large bowl. Add the basil, Parmesan cheese and tomato mixture; toss to coat. 4 servings.

The next day, I added some chopped up leftover chicken and a few tablespoons of milk which made an awesome meal along side my warm, home made wheat rolls!

Happy cooking :)

Thankful for My Heritage

I experienced something very odd a few weeks ago. Due to other events at home, we chose to attend the traditional first service at our church instead of the second service which is contemporary.

When I first walked in, I was shocked at the songs they were singing. I knew it was a traditional service but really wasn't expecting songs from my childhood.

'Blessed Assurance' along with 'Look What the Lord Has Done' and 'I Will Enter His Gates' were songs I sang as a preteen! I will have to admit that my initial thought was, "I cannot believe they are still singing these songs!" It only took a nano second for the Lord to convict me and remind me that I was saved on these songs. The words still ring true and with passion. Within minutes, I began worshipping with a lump in my throat as we sung 'You are Awesome in This Place' and 'Come Holy Spirit'. I only had Adam with me who looked rather perplexed at the style of music and the change in my behavior. I knew right then that Hymn 101 was a new class that would start in my home the next week!

I borrowed a hymn book from the church and then spent some time Monday morning explaining my heritage to the kids. I sang as I spoke and wept as I sang. For me, it was a moving moment that I wanted my kids to experience. We read the words to 'Amazing Grace', 'There is Power in the Blood', 'What a Day That Will Be' and 'How Great Thou Art'. Then I began sharing with them my limited knowledge of the historical background of the writers of these precious old hymns and their incredible journeys in life.

Fanny Crosby, blind from childhood, was inducted into the Gospel Music Hall of Fame in 1975 and is known as the "Queen of Gospel Song Writers. She was a rescue mission worker, poet, lyricist and composer with over 9000 songs in print as well as 1,000 poems. She was also an incredible public speaker, played the organ and gave piano lessons...let's not forget that she was blind!

That first service worship experience was so rewarding, that I decided to do it again. With both kids in hand, we greeted the predominately older folks and began to worship with them. While we sang 'In The Presence of Jehovah', I could hear my mom harmonizing with me in my mind. Oh, what powerful words 'He is Here, You Can Touch Him' possess!

I was so blessed and elated when a message in tongues was given. Paraphrased..."I am here now with you to bless you. I will give you My strength. I am yours and your are Mine. Together we are victorious."

Amen!! I accept that, Lord! I'll take Your blessings AND the victories!

I don't feel it or say it enough, but I am extremely grateful for my Christian heritage. I enjoy the contemporary services as much as anyone else, but I treasure the hymns - they made me who I am. They shaped my hope and strengthened my faith. Thank you, mom and dad, for the Godly heritage you gave me!

Update on My Kids - Part 2

"In the midst of her trials, she has found strength she never knew she had and an appreciation for life unlike anything she has ever known. As a consequence, she is joyously alive, howbeit, in the face of great adversity."

I love to read. Period. You name it, I want to read it. It inspires me. Encourages me. Raises me to new levels that I didn't know existed. God's Word, other blogs, books, Internet articles, quotes, devotions, online sermons, etc., etc.

I read the above quote somewhere and copied it onto my virtual notepad. I want this to be me. I want people to be able to say that about me one day...

"...this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead" 2 Corinthians 1:9.

A dear friend of mine recently shared with me Rick Warren's personal observations since dealing with his wife's cancer. He said that he used to think that life was a series of hills and valleys. "There were good and bad times that ebbed and flowed. Now he sees life more like a railroad track. Two parallel lines - one side being good things and the other being the challenges. At every stage in our life we have things that are wonderful and we consider them blessings. At the same time, we are facing challenges and struggles that God is using to shape us into the people who will spend eternity with Him. We have to remember that everything we are doing now is only practice for the "REAL" life we have yet to live."

Wow - I love the parallelism to this analogy!

After my first update on the kids, I started receiving these precious emails ... "I pray that they acknowledges their struggles and successes, all at the same time."

"We declared Victoria to be "Victoria the victorious" in our prayers this morning! I am asking the Father to give her a vision for where He is taking her."

"I'm sure this is a roller coaster ride for you. Thank you so much for sharing and being an inspiration for those of us who are just struggling with the small stuff. The boys tell me that Adam is an amazing guitar player and I know they are blessed and encouraged by his example."

"We are in God's throne room daily, lifting your kids up."

I am so thankful for the phone calls, encouraging emails and reassuring comments. I read them to my kids and watch the spark in their eyes light up.

So how are they doing a week after my first update? Amazing to say the least! I have purposely waited a week to write this second update so I could report their success after another mapping session on Thursday.

* I call Adam on the phone often and rarely ever sign. I sat in the hallway this week in guitar lessons for the first time. I do believe the proverbial umbilical cord has been severed!!

* Victoria is now getting annoyed by my keyboard clicking, soft background music at the Chiropractor and the beeps on my phone when I'm texting! Although she is irritated, I can't help but laugh. Why? Because she can hear them :) I keep reminding her that her brain will eventually tune out the noises that are not necessary to function - just like it happened with her heartbeat.

Ironically, when I asked her last week if she still hears her heartbeat, she looked very puzzled and wanted to know what I was talking about. Flabbergasted, I explained the whole scenario. She had no idea what I was talking about and says she hears nothing!! Not only has she tuned out the beating sound, but also the entire event!

* They both received an excellent report from the audiologist and the surgeon as we prepare for surgery number two.

* When we left the appointment yesterday, I stepped on a bunch of leaves and heard them crunch. I stopped, made the kids freeze and stepped on them again asking if they heard that. They both did!! Victoria had a strange look in her eyes and then the dimple appeared - I heard leaves crunching!!

* I was very encouraged yesterday when our precious audiologist stated that she was very proud of both the kids and that Victoria is already doing better than she ever anticipated - woohoo!


I have to share one more funny thing. I was going over the next surgery date and the proceeding appointments with them both yesterday. The surgery is on Tuesday, so Victoria asked what time on Thursday do we go to the audiologist to have the implant activated. Thursday? "No, honey, remember, we have to wait three weeks for the incision to heal before it can be turned on."

I was completely amazed as she sat there trying to tell me that it wasn't like that with the first implant - she has completely forgotten! In case I haven't shared this yet, that was the one thing that I was so upset about. I just knew that the three week waiting period with ZERO hearing for my kids was going to be horrendous. Trust me when I say that it was certainly difficult, but four weeks later and my kids don't even remember - they think they got activated two days later! God is so funny :) Good thing I'm journaling this whole event or they wouldn't remember a thing a year from now!

Although we're nearing the finish line, please but don't stop praying -- their second surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, November 8 at 7 and 10 am.Count your blessings, name them one, two, three!

Update on My Kids - Part 1

Warning...this is a long blog!

I am sorry that it's taken me a few weeks to write an update on the kids and their first Cochlear Implant, but there is actually great reason for this.

This uncharted road we have been traveling on since September 20th has been physically, mentally and spiritually exhausting, bewildering and stressful. The emotional roller-coaster ride has been insane. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was rehash the struggles and be reminded of the tediously slow process we are experiencing.

However, my spirit has been lifted the last few days as I have seen definite improvements in my kids progress as well as their demeanor.

If you remember from my previous blog, activation day was less than exciting for my kiddos. It was not what we or the kids anticipated or ever dreamed of. Not only was it not video worthy, we were looking to get our money back!

And then 24 hours passed.

You would never have convinced me that in just 24 short hours, we would do a complete turn-about and cry with joy instead of weeping from anger and frustration. But that is exactly what happened. Both kids went to the mapping session (fine-tuning) with positive attitudes and great expectations. Even in Victoria's timid state, she did incredibly well. Adam was off the charts with his ability to process sounds in just one day! I was even more flabbergasted when the sound field testing came back at 15 db - I would never have believed it had I not been sitting in the back corner of the sound proof room! I, personally, have a mild hearing loss of 20-25 db, so that means my kids were hearing sounds that I could not hear! Even though these were just sounds and not actual words, my husband and I were still elated!

A week later we embraced yet another three hour mapping appointment where they were reprogrammed (I guess I have little robots in my house now!) and boosted in the volume arena. Victoria's progress is a tad slower than Adam's, so she left with her level on 4 while Adam had his on 6. However, a week later, they were both at 10 -- right where the audiologist wanted them!

Then the speech therapy and listening drills began - at home and at the center. We are listening to 1st and 2nd grade books on tape trying to get their brain retrained and to really focus on listening. We try to name every sound as it happens in the house and draw attention to noises we think they have missed. The hardest part? Repeating ourselves three times before we are allowed to resort to signing. I've signed for 14 years now - I can't believe I'm having to slap my own hands and try to not sign!

So, here is the individual update:

Since Adam's hearing was better than Victoria's for 10 years, his threshold is wider as is his tolerance. He has heard sounds and pitches more clearly and in a different range than she ever has. Which is why he is doing better with the implant than Victoria. He loves it, has embraced it and can't wait for the next surgery on the other ear.

Up until the last year when Adam's hearing plummeted, Victoria had the greater loss. Lower threshold; lower tolerance. She does not relish or accept new challenges with the tenacity that Adam does. She is struggling with being a baby listener. Too many things to listen to and it literally hurts her head. Unfortunately, she has taken the implant off often in the past two weeks. As strange as it is, Victoria hears her heartbeat every evening when we take the implant off. It scared her at first, wondering what the pounding noise was and then it was just plain irritating. We have since found out that this is quite normal and will hopefully fade away as time goes on. Victoria is quite apprehensive about the second surgery.

The surgeon told us that, "Listening is truly an art and very difficult to do. These kids are having to start all over with the patience and tolerance of a teenager instead of a baby." We will get there but it's a much slower process than we ever imagined.

Ok - I said it and I didn't cry! This is what I didn't want to share. These are our struggles and the facts of life for us. However, now it's time to move forward and catch you all up to speed. Enough with the whining - I'm ready to share the honey-sweet good reports!

Yesterday, I read a chapter to the kids while sitting on Victoria's lap. Adam was about 2 feet away and understood every word I said without me signing (that has NEVER happened)! I was sitting on Victoria's lap so that I could point to every word and have her follow along. It was tedious for her but we are doing everything we can to NOT sign. She got it, but it was hard. I keep having to remind her - you have to work at this. It will not come easy, but it will happen.

They are both hearing sounds and/or noises that they've never heard before. Although Victoria is doing a lot of lip reading, my signing has still decreased by at least 50%.

They heard the dryer shut off today.

Victoria heard me sneeze in my room while she was in the kitchen (quite a distance away) and wanted to know what the noise was.

In Adam's guitar lesson this week, I only had to sign ONE sentence! Also, he was moved to the back row so that newer, beginning kids could be in the front (since that means the instructor doesn't have to watch him as closely, that's a compliment!) Adam has only been taking lessons since August, so I'm very proud of him! We have decided that I will be sitting in the hallway next week - we're both ready to cut the proverbial umbilical cord :)

Victoria's speech therapist hugged her and got misty-eyed at her progress last week.

At therapy, Adam talked on the phone while the therapist was in the hallway and heard every sentence she said! Only two more sessions with Adam and he will be dismissed from therapy!

In only two short weeks, they have both done an amazing job of learning how to block out all the loud background noises and focus on the person speaking.

Victoria no longer hears her heartbeat when the implant is off - her brain has learned to just ignore it. When I asked her about it last night, she looked puzzled and had to think about it. "I don't hear anything without my implant - what are you talking about?"
I just had to laugh - she had already forgotten that only last week it was driving her crazy!

I taught science class at co-op this week and Adam understood nearly everything I said.

It dawned on me yesterday that Victoria has not said that everyone is too loud for almost a week!

Even better news...she has not taken off her implant once!

They both went to youth on Wednesday without me - first time in years. I knew Adam would understand almost everything so I asked Victoria what she wanted me to do, since I'm not supposed to be signing. She told me not to come. "I'll be fine. I'll listen as best as I can and try to read his lips." She didn't understand much at all - BUT, at least she tried. That's a huge milestone for her.

The last two weeks, Victoria had embraced her insecurities and somewhat retreated. These past few days, I saw a butterfly emerging. She is strong - she is a Flint!

Adam is bold, outgoing, outspoken and very sure of himself. These character traits have served him well these past few weeks.

I warned you this was going to be a long blog :)

Bottom line...I'm very proud of them both and although the past three weeks have been challenging, I have no regrets. God has been our constant source of strength and comfort. We are trying to seize each moment and to live every hour to the very fullest.

I must sign off for now. In the Update, Part 2 (hopefully this weekend) I want to share what the Lord reminded me of and some special words of encouragement from my friends.

Blessings to you all!

Behind the Appearances

I love this story so much that I just had to copy and post it here:


"I like to cook and fix meals for my husband. Since I was a child I liked to watch my mom preparing meals for us, and enjoyed eating her food. Growing up I didn't do a lot of cooking, but in college I had no other choice, but to start cooking myself. I did, and I enjoyed so much that I started cooking for all my friends. It is such a good feeling when you offer somebody something you cooked with love, and they like it.

One day while preparing the ingredients for a meal, I was fascinated by these extra large potatoes. They seemed so healthy and you would not think for a minute that there might be something wrong with them. I started to peel them, they seem OK, but when I got to the middle of potatoes and they were brown. There were no signs on the outside to warn you that they were rotten inside.

I had to go deeper to remove the bad part and two things came to mind while removing the rotten part. One had to do with my own life and the other with the appearance of human being in general. I felt like God was telling me:” This is how much I had to remove from you; I had to cut deeper, though painful, to remove the filth in your life! I started crying, while recalling some of the painful moments in my life!

Many people live their lives as if they would have it all together, but inside they have a lot of depression, anxiety, hurt, and pain. It seems like we delight in showing off what we don’t have, and like to make people think that everything is just fine with us. God knows us so well, and still loves us and accepts us. Why then, are we afraid to be transparent?

I know one thing that can help us is examining our lives, confessing what is not right and leave it behind. I often heard people trying to excuse bad behaviors instead of dealing with the situation and do something about it. I admit that I struggle with anger, and there is no excuse about it. I need to deal with the issue and solve it. I can't take a pair of scissors, cut out the pages of my Bible that speak about anger, and pretend they are not there. None of us is perfect, but this should determine us not to remain at the same level of growth. By admitting our imperfections and allowing God to change us, we are changing and growing.

I think we can learn some lessons for life even from a rotten potato. Which brings my thoughts to a movie I've seen “Faith Like Potatoes”! An awesome movie that inspired me to have a real faith in spite of what the society or the circumstances tell me. Faith just like a potato, real and touchable."

Eureka!

Surprises at every corner does not even begin to describe our day today.

With a spring in our step, we all marched out the door this morning in great anticipation of what awaited us in the "activation room!"

All of the professionals tried desperately to warn us that they will not hear right away. "It's a slow process." "Their brain will not be able to handle all the sounds right away." "90% of implant patients hate them for the first two weeks."

I explained this to the kids numerous times and then tried to set my own expectation bar very low.

I was unsuccessful in doing this.

I did not expect my daughter to start crying when she heard the first beeping sounds. They were not glassy eyes full of joyfulness but salt water from fear and nervous anticipation. There was no amazing video to show of their first experience hearing our voices. They couldn't hear our voices. It was a little disturbing to hear them both say, "I don't hear anything, but I feel it." They could not make out a single word. Adam's expression was very bewildering - " The sounds are stinging my brain."

The audiologist explained that this was all normal and that their brain actually has to be re-trained. There is mapping that happens on the computer with the implants and mapping that occurs in their brain while they are listening. They really did "hear" but their brain had no idea that these noises were sounds that form words. I know - it sounds crazy! Our heads were spinning as we were trying to swallow these alienated explanations.

Then the speech therapist proved her point. She turned off the vibration mode on her cell phone and set it on the table. When the phone rang, Victoria said she felt it. She was wrong - there was nothing to feel! She heard it but didn't really know she was hearing it! Her brain didn't know it was a phone ringing since she's never heard a phone ring before!

This is where extensive speech therapy and preschool-like games at home come into play. We literally have to treat them like a toddler naming every sound we hear. We've been cautioned against signing so that they can begin to depend on the implants ability to let them hear. Baby listeners they are called! As a friend of mine told me today, "Sometimes you have to work before the blessings come."

So here we are...

Trusting yet nervous

Excited but skeptical

Confused though at peace

Frustrated yet joyful

Believing but doubtful

Can you really feel all of these emotions at the same time with the same event? All I can say is that we did.

So, we have a choice. My husband and I have decided to accept and trust God and then proclaim His incredible blessings. We will NOT confess any negative thoughts or let them take a foothold in our hearts.

So, that is what I put on Facebook - they DO work and I AM thankful for this incredible technology. I must believe that this truly is a tediously slow process and that with time it will get better.

In case you're wondering, this is why I blog. It is my journal. It is how I expressive myself. I truly write just for me. If I happen to have readers, then that is just an extra bonus! I usually open up my heart and let the rawness show. I don't pull any punches and I don't pretend to have it all together. I try not to portray that every trial in my life is a welcoming avenue for character building! However, I do pray that it is :)

I also blog so that I can see where the Lord has brought my family and I. As I did recently, I like to reread some old blogs and chuckle at where I was not so long ago. I love to reminense about a certain event that seemed so catastrophic at the moment yet a minor anthill now!

I am positive that I will look back on this blog 6-12 months from now and not only stand in completely awe of what the Lord has done for my children but also see that what was so perplexing and heart breaking at that time, can bring a joyful smile to my face now.